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Barbara worried about how her mother’s dementia would develop. But when her mother died unexpectedly, she realized she had been wasting her energy worrying.
Transcript
The parts that I found more difficult to negotiate with were things like the constant layer of worry in my brain that I didn’t know was there. It just was, and it was constantly eating away and interrupting sleep, and all of the “what ifs”. And it was just like, I sort of pictured it as this red layer of gelatine just sort of working a way in there, and interrupting things that I wanted to do, and just adding a layer.
And the fear of that, because she was my one remaining relative at that point. But she got a bladder infection that moved into pneumonia, and, like, out of the blue was dead within 10 days. So all of the times that I had spent, “Oh my gosh, what am I going to do when she doesn’t know me?” “How am I going to deal with moving her from where she lives into more of a care facility?” All of those types of things, all of those hours I had spent worrying and fussing where I had this little layer in my brain that was just always aware these were decisions I was going to have to make, ends up being a complete waste of time and energy because her life ended as she would have wanted it.
More from: Barbara
More content
- What is it like to be a caregiver? – BarbaraFor Barbara, the experience broadens people’s minds.
- Future and caregiving – BarbaraBarbara worried about how her mother’s dementia would develop. But when her mother died unexpectedly, she realized she had been wasting her energy worrying.
- Society and caregiving – BarbaraPeople find it really difficult to hear about illness says Barbara.
- Resources – BarbaraBarbara found it really helpful to learn what to expect when you are caring. She found out about the support group through a medical professional.
- Personal growth and transformation – BarbaraThere is an incredible amount of joy in caregiving, says Barbara.
- Navigating the system – BarbaraBarbara was very concerned about bringing her father home, and did not know where to turn when she was told that he would have to leave the hospital.
- Interaction with professionals – BarbaraAfter a disagreement with her father’s physician about his ability to drive, Barbara’s father had a seizure while driving.
- Caring for yourself – BarbaraThe situation may be sad and tragic, but don’t be afraid to enjoy funny moments, says Barbara.
- Advice for professionals and society (2) – BarbaraBarbara would like doctors to recognize that caregivers are an important part of a patient’s circle of care. If caregivers are engaged, then doctors' jobs are easier.
- Advice for professionals and society – BarbaraBarbara thinks that physicians can help people identify themselves as caregivers and help them find support.